Everybody's Fool
by SinsRose
Summary: When Thomas Ratliff meets Adam Lambert a young model everything begins to fall apart, his past resurfaces and it hurts, Tommy just wants to escape the feeling of being numb again while Adam is pushed to his limit with the physical torture. Adommy Abuse
1. Part 1

Disclaimer- I don't own Adam Lambert or _Thomas Joe Ratliff or any other members of the band, or American Idol contestants from season eight. Yes, a lot of characters here. _

_AU- a lot, given this there is a change with their ages, the ages are as follows. If more characters are listed they will be added as the story progresses, given this is an au so things are a lot different Alliterate universe. _

_Adam- 19_

_Thomas/Tommy – 17_

_Monte- 20_

_Lisa- 21_

_Allison- 17_

_Kris- 18_

_Drake -18_

_**Warnings**__- Slash in later chapters, slight abuse, drug use, violence, hinted rape in further chapters._

_Everybody's fool_

_

* * *

_

_Part one_

The first time everyone had talked about him, I had shrugged it off. All you ever heard the whispers about him in the high school since he arrived. I rolled my eyes remembering the mindless chatter at the lunch table. Everyone seemed to think it was so amazing to have a model attending a normal high school, to me it was like plunging into an ice cold bucket, everyone stopped talking about normal things. I stared off into space in my art class; I had two electives I took – art and my music one which were both at the end of the day to my relief. The chatter about that stupid model was on a lower level in my art class and no one paid too much attention to it.

I stared down at my sketch of Allison, the redhead I had been talking to while sketching. We had been friends for awhile, I handed her the drawing earning a gasp leave her lips. "Tommy that's amazing." She complemented me staring at the sketch of her, she hated the talk of the model enrolled here much to my relief and Allison hoped it would die down soon. I smiled back at her when she handed me back the book and glanced at the clock, the bell rang._ Thank god. _I though, waving goodbye to Allison as I made my way downstairs to my music room, it was empty as usual. I had a way of getting here before anyone.

My bass was leaning beside our teacher's desk, I didn't feel like playing it today, my music period was a free one for the most part, our class only consisted of fifteen and we all got along pretty well. Allison was trying to transfer into the class; she had a thing for singing. I knew a few people in the class but didn't talk too much to them, apparently however we had another student that had been placed in this class and he got in a few minutes after I did.

I scowled it was that godforsaken model. _Adam Lambert_. I growled in distaste, grabbing a folder of mine off the desk, collections of lyrics were in it as well as music sheets, I threw it into my bag. Adam's eyes looked at me and then looked away defeated, _wait why did it look so unhappy._ Adam was wearing a simple grey shirt and leather jeans, fairly normal clothing compared to what he wore in the ads. His eyes didn't meet my gaze as he texted a message on his phone, then slipped it back in his pocket.

I noticed as some of my friends filed in and other students filed in, I could see some talked to Adam. He sounded lively when speaking but I could tell from my experiences with my mother's beatings it was a lie. A bang of red hair caught me off guard. "Allison." I grinned at her as she sat beside me in the back. I was joined by Kris Allen my other friend, he had a very good singing voice and was planning on majoring with it along with Allison.

Adam didn't look towards me once and for some reason it bothered me, it was remotely disturbing how he acted around people, as if he was trying to hide something. Kris's voice shook me from my thoughts. "What are you doing when you get out of here?" He asked me.

I hadn't thought about it. I wasn't honestly sure; I had no plans laid out for me yet. "Haven't thought about it." I answered as he and Allison went on talking.

The class went by slower than the average one, it seemed we were assigned an artist to write a project on which consisted of creating a poster on them with facts about them, the names of the artists were in a hat, there were doubles of each band so would be working in random pairs. Allison grinned at me when she got her band, _Linkin Park._ I rolled my eyes leave it to her to be overjoyed, my hope flew out the window as Kris got the same name. When the hat was passed to me I drew out the name _Evanescence_, well that wasn't a bad name or band for that matter. Kris muttered "Emo kid." remembering the music.

I glared at him countering. "It's based on life events."

Kris rolled his eyes, and then gave me a sheepish grin. "You're stuck with Lambert."

My eyes went wide, and I hissed, that was the last thing I wanted. I didn't need people up my ass about it, but Kris was right Adam made his way over his bag dropping with a slight thud as Kris and Allison vanished off, along with most of the students into the small computer lab our classroom had though a door. Adam opened his mouth to speak and I cut him off. "I don't put up with slackers, or any shit. The quicker I get this done, the quicker people will leave me alone." I said dryly to him.

He nodded and then pulled out a folder; it was a collection of notes, information about the band. "How-"I was cut off by his smooth voice.

"I listen to them a lot, besides what song are you planning on using?" He asked me, pulling out lyrics.

"I've only listened to them a few times and I haven't recently." I cringed remembering the scars on my wrist from only a year ago when I tried to kill myself. The bell rang and Adam looked peeved, worried to death.

"I need to go." He grabbed his bag and I caught him by the arm. His eyes were a frightened blue color as he looked at me. "Please just let me go. I'm not worth worrying over." He whispered jerking his arm away from mine. My hand felt numb, I felt numb and had the desire to cut again, a wave of nausea came over my body. I don't know how long I stared at my hand, but I vaguely remember someone calling my name, my hand dropped to the side as I grabbed my folders, a number etched into my memory.

* * *

"You little shit! Why are you late?" a woman snarled.

Adam moved up against the wall, his entire body petrified. "Emily I"- A hard punch to his stomach made him double over in pain.

"You little brat, from the day you were born you were signed to us by your parents. They wanted us to-"

"You're the bitch who killed my parents." Adam wheezed out while shaking tremendously, he placed his left hand on the wall for support. Emily growled at the ignorant teen, and forced him to place his hands on the wall his back to her, slapping echoed throughout the downstairs of the building. Adam cried out in pain as the stinging became worse, his knees bucking, he didn't know how long the slapping went on for, he could hardly stand when she walked away, vaguely heard the words get ready for the next shoot.

Adam fell onto to his knees; behind him Monte another model caught him before he hit the floor. He already knew what happened; he knew the teen too well. "You need help?" He asked, Adam weakly nodded as he was brought to the next shoot, hanging onto Monte.

* * *

When I had gotten home I cringed at the booze bottles littering the floor, my mother had been drinking again, and I didn't call her by her name anymore just my screaming of calling her a bitch or slut. I stared at the bottles debating whether or not just to sleep in my car; it was comfortable even if it did get cold. I looked around the house, Heh the bitch wasn't around. I locked the door sliding the deadbolt across the door; no way in hell was I waking up to getting beat. I grabbed a pack of cigarettes off the table curtsy of my foul mother; I lit one in the house taking a few drags before flicking it into the ash tray.

I dropped my school bag on the table staring at the small ink writing on the piece of paper. I felt my eyes water at the number, _what the hell?_ I typed the numbers in my cell phone, my hand shaking saving his number, my phone dropped on the table with a small thud. My hands were shaking so much, was I relapsing? I felt completely numb, a feeling of dead washed over me, I hadn't felt like this in years. I stared at my scars and then I muttered fuck it.

I dug though the draws in the bathroom finding a razor I had rigged a year ago so I could just get the blade, rich irony that my mother acted like she cared and then beat me as soon as I got back from rehab for my cutting issue. I pressed the metal against my skin feeling the familiar energy plump in my body at first cut. In a quick swipe my hands stopped shaking, the blood on the metal, my blood slowly pulled out the wound dripping on the titles. Perhaps I could lie, I could say it was a new method my mother was using and for once I found myself unlocking the door for her. I had put gauze on the wound the fresh smell of blood in my mind, making me feel real.

It seemed fate had blessed me my mother was cheerful, Sarah. That's what I called her when she was the motherly figured I remembered as a child. She was overly happy tonight; I eyed the fast food hungrily. "Hey baby," Her voice was soft. "I got you some food honey." She handed me a McDonald's bag, I muttered a thank you, while grabbing my drink- Spite. "Baby is everything alright?" Sarah asked me.

I froze halfway to my room, please don't tell me she noticed the blood seeping though my gauze. I was so hungry, I hadn't eaten today and when I did the contents never lasted, last time my mother had forced me to eat my own throw up when I lied or just locked me in my room for two weeks with only water, but I still ran out even then. I swallowed hard trying not to let my voice betray me. "I'm fine mom I swear." My voice sounded off, shit.

She frowned at me and I threw the bag into my room, I would eat later. I walked back placing the drink on the table, my stomach protesting. Sarah faced me a sneer on her face and she grabbed my gauze wrapped hand harshly. I flinched at the slight pain across it, not the best idea to cut tonight. She looked at the red gauze frowning at me. Slap. It echoed in the room, a sudden pain hitting my cheek. I met her gaze my eyes hard I won't give her the satiation, even if it killed me. She slapped me harder across the face splitting open my lip; I felt the blood trickle down my chin, my body shaking. I was still frozen I didn't know how to defend myself. I was vaguely aware when my head smashed into a mirror, shards flying everywhere. Everything was so disoriented, I starving the bitch smiled at me throwing me onto the bed slamming my door behind me; I could barely make out the deadlock on the other side of my bedroom door.

I guess I was happy that she hadn't locked the other bathroom door, I had one in my bedroom which my mother locked when she starved me, given there was a window in that bathroom and apparently I had managed to grab my phone before getting locked in. I grabbed the fast food bag, opening it. The food hit my senses and I very slowly ate, I didn't feel like getting hungry later so I saved the fries. I stuck my head under the bathroom sink to get a drink of water, it was better than nothing.

After that, I was debating whether or to dial that number, I settled on climbing out the window. I was thankful it was a small apartment and we lived on the ground floor. I climbed into my car, drove out the driveway and vanished into the night. I could feel the numbness creeping back into my veins as my frightened eyes met horrified blue ones.

Standing in the middle of the road in blood drenched clothes was Adam Lambert.


	2. Part 2

Disclaimer- I don't own Adam Lambert or _Thomas Joe Ratliff or any other members of the band, or American Idol contestants from season eight. Yes, a lot of characters here. _

_AU- a lot, given this there is a change with their ages, the ages are as follows. If more characters are listed they will be added as the story progresses, given this is an au so things are a lot different Alliterate universe. _

_**Warnings**__- Slash in later chapters, slight abuse, drug use, violence, hinted rape in further chapters._

_Everybody's fool_

_

* * *

_

Part 2

I blinked numb to the core. _What the hell was he doing out here?_ I had known from when I had left though my window it was cold as a fuck outside. I parked the car on the side of the road by him; I slammed the door roughly as I walked towards him. Adam's lips were quivering, they were a bluish color, I realized that his hair wasn't just dripped blood as I moved closer to him. His hair was soaked from water, it dripped down his body. Adam was completely soaked and freezing to bone outside, could see him rubbing his hands together to get heat.

I must have looked just as scarred as he did judging by the look he was giving me though his frightened gaze. "Are you alright?" I asked him my voice barley audible.

He gave a weak nod glancing over towards my car; I walked over to the passenger door and opened for him, his shivering visible. Adam moved onto the seat shutting the door and I got in the car going to the other passenger's seat. I wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. He swallowed shaking still, I had the decently to lock the doors and throw on the car's heat.

We didn't meet each other's eyes for awhile. I guess we both were too scared at what happened. The only thing I could see on Adam was thin fingernail marks on his shoulders; he had his head on his knees, his black bangs in front of his eyes slightly. "You shouldn't care about me."Adam whispered.

I didn't even know why I cared about his safety and that honestly scarred me a lot. "I just want to help you." I whispered back my voice sounding lifeless.

"Sometimes you can't help everyone." Adam hissed back his eyes blinking, tears dripping down them, smudged eyeliner and eye shadow on his eyelids. A thin smudge of black dripped down his face.

"Why are you so afraid to let anyone become close to you? It's so sickening. You throw everyone away if they try to like you." I snarled at him my eyes dripping my tears, I didn't care. I had no longer cared who saw me cry. Allison. I need her help so much right now. It was the weekend and I couldn't even go home unless my mother was gone.

"Just stay out of my life. Can you drop me off here?" Adam's voice sounded pained.

I looked at the street address and sighed, honestly I knew something bad was going to happen but I shrugged it off. I stared at his blood stained lips before climbing into the front seat.

I looked Adam in the eyes as he began to open the handle to the car door. "Wait, "I whispered, I grabbed his hand again; I swore I felt a tingle run through it. "I'm sorry, but if you need me just call this number I promise you I'll always pick up." I let the paper drop into his hands; his expression was grim as he placed a finger to his lips as he vanished from the car.

Just what have we sinned for to deserve this? My thoughts whispered as I drove off. I need to talk to Kris, Allison would kill me. It would be poor planning if I went to see her considering I cut myself earlier tonight, she would probably blow a gasket. I didn't let my thoughts linger as I pulled up to Kris's apartment.

"Holy shit dude are you alright?" was Kris's worried voice as soon as I walked in.

I sat myself down on the couch, the numb feeling stronger. "It happened again Kris." My tone was dark.

He rushed over beside me with a first aid kit. He lifted off my shirt his eyes widening and he bit his lip. "Tommy, why do you let her do this?" He whispered as he ran peroxide over the cuts to clean them, I winced at the sting but it slightly woke me. My stomach growled. I hadn't eaten much, but I was used to it.

I shrugged avoiding Kris's questions I was more focused on Adam's torn up appearance. That scarred me more than anything. "I ran into Adam. The kid…he was so much worse looking then me Kris. I think he was raped." I said to my friend as he placed bandages on places he could and gauze in other places.

Kris frowned. "You ran into Lambert? I thought you hated him." He answered back.

"I don't know what to think. Kris, he looked dead he had blood all over him." My voice cracked and I think I was scared for his safety not my safety, my hands were trembling again. Kris didn't say anything about my gauze on my wrist, I was thankful he already knew. I couldn't stop shaking, I cared so much for the kid and I didn't even know why. My eyes went wide. No I couldn't be falling for him right? I was not falling fucking in love with him. No.

I let a cry leave my lips. Kris pulled me into an embrace and I don't know how long I cried in his arms.

* * *

Adam was shaking as he entered his apartment and breathed out a breath of relief when he saw Monte waiting for him. Monte rushed towards him helping him, cleaning wounds, trying to make him look less bruised, less fragile. "Adam you alright kid?" He asked the younger man.

Adam swallowed. "Yeah." He answered finding his voice.

"How'd you get here? I was sure that Emily had murdered you or something." Monte's tone was concerned.

Adam let out a cry this time. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to tune the pain out. He just wanted to die. It hurt so much to keep living. "Shh...Adam. You'll be alright. You'll get through this." Monte whispered caring for the model.

Adam sobbed into him clinging onto Monte, he felt so fragile. "I can't do this anymore." He sobbed into Monte's shoulder. Monte held onto the teen there wasn't much they could do they could only pray he would make it out safely.

Somehow one way or another the week dragged onto Wednesday to mid December just two days away from their holiday break. I gagged the holidays were anything but cheerful in my family. I hadn't seen or heard from Adam since Friday, the teen had just dropped off the planet or something. Allison shifted beside me, Kris frowned. "He's still not here?" The teen said to me, I just shook my head.

"Hey it's his life. He clearly said he didn't want me to worry." I said rather carelessly.

The classroom doors opened, and well speak of the devil. Adam looked like complete utter shit. His eyes had bags under them from the apparent lack of sleep, what was more disturbing to me though was the red mark on his neck. Someone had been hurting him and I knew it. Adam sat beside Kris talking animated and my mouth dropped at Kris. Kris chuckled at me. "I've known him for awhile." Was his comment, Adam didn't meet me in the eyes anymore.

Adam spoke directing towards me. "What you saw that night. Please don't tell anyone." He sounded frantic.

I froze, for a minute his tone sounded like mine the night I told Kris I was cutting but that was a year ago when I first started the habit. "Why?"I managed to ask.

Allison glanced at Kris and they got up heading into the side room again. Adam met me in the eyes his voice dark. "Just don't tell anyone. I'm not supposed to even be in school."He got up but I caught him by the wrist gently – I knew the feeling of heat rushing to my groin.

"You're letting them hurt you. Adam. Just let me in please." I almost begged him. Almost I still had my pride.

"Thomas, I can't you wouldn't"-

"Wouldn't what? Understand?" I hissed at him tightening my grip on his wrist. Then I felt him cringe.

"I hate you."He spat at me and jerked his hand back. "I hate you because you make me feel the pain that I hadn't felt before by them." He snarled darkly.

My blood ran cold. He felt it. Adam was losing his numbness because of me. He was losing the way to tune everything out the abuse. I felt sickened, what have I done? I pulled a razor out without even blinking and didn't meet Adam in the eye; let this be our dirty secret. Adam looked me in the eye and in an unspoken agreement he took the razor's blade from me pressing against his pale skin. A line of red marked his delicate skin as he cut his skin. "Is it your first time? I asked him calmly watching the blood drops collect, he nodded, in his left hand, the uncut wrist, Adam gripped the blade and sliced it against my skin. I felt the pain and nearly moaned at the feeling it was stronger than the energy before, I couldn't get enough of this ever.

"Our dirty little secret." Adam whispered to me, while wrapping gauze around both our hands- well wrists. He pressed his lips lightly to the cut before wrapping it and it reminded me of my mother before the drugs.

"Our secret." I mirrored him, I pulled a pack of cigarettes from my pocket as I went towards the door, and Adam followed me.

We didn't speak as we switched off taking drags of the smoke. I lay on the grass, underneath a tree staring out into the open. I had known it would be like l this, we didn't know why we needed each other but we stayed near each other like we were inseparable. I don't know how long we were there smoking to be honest with you. I could just remember staring at Adam's sleeping figure on the grass as I smoked. My soul didn't feel like crying out right now, but I knew all this would come to an end; I had a nagging feeling in my gut.

Oh why did I fall for him? I knew I had and for fuck's sake I was straight. I flicked m cigarette out leaning against the tree he was just as damaged as I was. I was beginning to see faults in his expression his body movement everything, was that how Kris and Allison looked at me? I sighed pondering my thoughts, one of my hands touching my scars.

Adam shifted in the grass blinking. "Ughh…" He moaned stretching. Adam blinked adjusting to the surroundings outside, and then spotted me not to far from him against the tree. He wasn't panicked about anything.

"You are not in a hurry?"I asked him enjoying the breeze.

"I'm not due for shooting today." He answered softly the fear in his voice slight but not as afraid as before. Adam's eyes caught on the mirror scars' on my neck from four days ago. I swallowed looking away. "So what are your plans for the holidays?" He asked me.

For once I had the desire not to tell anyone where I was headed; I had a friend Longineu that I was visiting over the holidays, my mother approved always, even though she had no idea what we did. I saw Adam leave my vision, but before he let he grabbed the carton of cigarettes before vanishing off.

* * *

I had reached Loungineu's house by Saturday night. My mother had smiled at the twenty year before parting ways, I was thrilled. Longineu had merely smiled at me, before shutting the door behind her. "Is she always that way?" He looked out the window watching her car drive down the road.

"You mean bitchy? Yeah." I said to him glancing, searching for something.

Longineu caught my gaze, and frowned. "Don't have speed Tommy. I got caught a week ago with it when I and my friend were going to get high." He ran a finger though his hair. I grimaced damn. It's not like I was hooked or anything but it would help ease the numbness I felt around people. "I have a photo shooting, a last minute call. You feel like coming to help? It's in an underground club. I grinned at him did he have to ask such a question.

I didn't know that my fate was sealed that night, then again who else would have thought you would wake up naked with a leather collar and bruises littering every inch of your body, leather wristbands cutting into your wrists. I didn't scream that morning until the figure shifted in the bed and I let out a hoarse scream, staring back into my eyes was Adam. I didn't hear my head hit the headboard with a loud thump as my mind fell into total darkness.


	3. Part 3

Disclaimer- I don't own Adam Lambert or _Thomas Joe Ratliff or any other members of the band, or American Idol contestants from season eight. Yes, a lot of characters here. _

_AU- a lot, given this there is a change with their ages, the ages are as follows. If more characters are listed they will be added as the story progresses, given this is an au so things are a lot different Alliterate universe. _

_**Warnings**__- Slash in later chapters, slight abuse, drug use, violence, hinted rape in further chapters._

_Everybody's fool_

_

* * *

_

_Part 3 _

I tasted blood that was the first thing in my senses as I awoke, not to mention my head pounded. The second thing was the burning of my wrists; I could feel the raw skin. The leather from before had been removed, the feeling of my raw skin in its place. Either I had smacked my lip on the headboard when I hit it or I had been bitten on my lips yesterday. Hell if I could even remember, my memories were completely hazy. Just what the hell had I been on yesterday?

I flexed my wrists a slight pain running though them. I slowly sat up a jolt of pain running though my body, I had felt it before. I internally cursed, I wished this was a bad dream and I could just wake up from it. I could hear Adam shift from how he was sitting rubbing his temple, when I looked at him this time however my eyes were clearer and I swore loudly. My desire to flee was stronger as my eyes looked at his blonde hair- his real hair, though the small areas of black dye were evident and I realized now why I was losing myself to him and falling so hard.

_

* * *

_

_Flashback_

_Summer before Eighth Grade_

_June_

_I laughed lying across the sandy beach of Los Anglos; I was here with a group of friends. Our little group consisted of Kris Allen, Allison, Chris Daughtry and Adam. I giggled at Adam, who had been wiped out earlier by a large wave which now had sand in his locks of strawberry blonde hair. He glared at me weaving his finger though his hair trying to get some of the sand out, Allison giggled softly Kris kissing her knuckles gently as I laughed at the blonde. "S-Shut up!" huffed Adam in embarrassment, his checks a little red. This caused my grin to crack wider, causing him to wrestle with me on the beach sand._

_Somehow while we were wrestling we ended drifting down further towards the ocean, the water hit me like a ton of ice as we ended up in the water. I glared at Adam somehow getting up and splashing the icy cold water at me, he turned to face me smirking. It was on. I began laughing sometime later after much of me was soaked; I had managed to end up with sand in my own hair. I grinned back at him and Adam began laughing with me falling into the water, letting out giggles of his own._

_I smiled at him as we were joined by Chris, Kris and Allison. They laughed throwing water at Adam, joining in our game it wasn't long until everyone was soaking wet._

_By the time we had began walking home it was late, we were still slightly wet the sun had dried us out for the most part. I could hear quiet whispers between Kris and Allison light feather kisses against her lips. I and Adam were ahead of them walking down the endless streets. I had loved seeing him laugh, seeing him so vivid in his life. He was so happy around me. I could feel his fingers lightly brushing against my own, heat shooting though them. I had always been truthful around my friends, with Adam._

_Maybe it was the way he comforted me when I thought I was scared, who knows. I could hear Kris's laughing and when I glanced back I saw him smirk at me. I rolled my eyes and kept walking forward with Adam, they turned onto another street, parting ways from us. Adam and I walked off onto our street chilled by the night air. "Adam?" He glanced over to me as we stopped at my house._

_"What Glitterbaby?" I fought back a blush at the nickname Adam had given me awhile ago when I first met him; I didn't know why he called me that._

_"You know I care so much about you baby." I answered him; he faced each other by my porch._

_He swallowed. "I know Tommy. I want to be with you but it's so hard to hide it." He whispers to me our noses touching; I can hear my mother calling as a light blush dusts my face, my eyes closed._

_"I don't care about anyone else. I just want to be us." I whispered back to him, my voice strong. Adam leans his lips forward and lightly kisses them softly; my heart thumps with a steady fast rate. A quick peck on the lips that's all that's needed, Adam smiles back at me, I'm sure that my face a light red color. Another call from my mother as he kisses my forehead softly his blonde bangs brushing against my face._

_"I wish it was that simple Glitterbaby." Adam's voice is soft. "Goodnight." He whispers._

_I smile as we unclasped our hands. I felt so happy, a renewed energy springing forward in my life._

* * *

_August_

_I'm scared so much that I'm shaking. "You little **bitch**!" Sarah screams at me, my mother has a belt in her hands, I'm cowered against the corner of the room shaking to death. Fear is written in my eyes as she walked closer hissing words at me. "I thought you were my perfect son. Why did you lie to me Tommy? Why did my baby lie to me?" Her voice sounds psychotic as she nears me; I have no place to run._

_What did I ever do wrong? "You little shit answer your mother when she talks to you." My body shakes even more, terror clogs my throat leaving me unable to speak, I can't find my voice. An echo of a slap echoes around the room, the belt hitting my clothing hard, I can feel it though my clothes slightly, but not enough for there to be pain. My body freezes up with terror, my fingers- my hands are shaking._

_"Take off your shirt." She snarls at me clutching the belt tighter, my body can't move I'm so petrified; my muscles are frozen in place. Sarah cracks the belt at my face hard, I can feel the impact it makes me lose my balance and hit the wall, there's going to be a bruise. "Take off your shirt you little shit." She yells at me again and this time my fingers numb and my whole body is truly scared as I removed my shirt and let it drop to the floor forgotten._

_Then my world is filled with the sound of cracking and the sound of my own screaming._

_

* * *

_

_I looked dead the next day as I walk up to Adam and grip his hand, his hands a comfort. I want to tell him so badly, I want to but can't. It would hurt me so much; he touches his fingers to my bruised cheek. "Baby what happened?" He whispers concerned._

_"I fell down the stairs." I lied. I was lying to him, it felt so wrong, I had promised not to hurt him, not to lie to Adam._

_Adam ran a hand though my hand for comfort, I sighed slightly content. He was worried, I could tell from the look in his eyes. "Adam what is it?" I whispered to him._

_His body froze up as he met my eyes. I suddenly realized that maybe I shouldn't know this. "I'm leaving." His voice was detached broken._

_A numb feeling jolted though my body. "L-Leaving?" I stuttered my voice sounding as if it would break._

_Adam nods responding, emotionless. "Some things have happened. I have to leave. I promise you, I'll still love you know matter where I am. Can you promise me not to forget me?" He whispers against my ear._

_My blood pounds in my ears, my heart racing fast. I swallow. "I won't." I responded back._

_He smiles against my ear, and takes me by the hand; I fall into place with him that night._

_He's beautiful; his skin against mine as he lets out a moan against my skin, Adam flushes slightly our bodies entwined as one. He kisses my neck softly, sucking making me writher against his skin; sweat clings to both of us, our hearts beating fast. Nothing separates us anymore. We just want to remember ourselves tonight, remember us. I let out another moan against Adam's skin as he sucks on my skin, a red mark forming I arch against him, our groins rubbing against each other a pit of desire racing in my stomach._

_Adam looks me in the eyes as he kisses me with enough pleasure to make my heart swell. He's everything I need tonight, we both know what's going to happen and we can't stop it. "I love you Tommy. Don't ever forget it."He whispered against my lips before taking me into a breathless kiss. The contact sends warm shivers up my spine as my hands lace themselves in his hair. I don't know how long we kiss for, the contact is so pleasant I never want it to leave me, a warm fire dances in my stomach. I let out a groan as one of his small hands touches a nipple; I arch against his skin, our lips still locked. We break apart, a band of spit connecting our lips. Adam's lips are a darker red swollen._

_I smile as I fall onto the bed, my eyes are granted with the image of him sucking on his fingers. A shudder goes though my body adding to the fire. Adam smiles at me a true smile, "Are you ready?" His voice is raw with pleasure._

_I nod at him. "Adam, I love you so much." I whisper, as his fingers slip into me. A moan leaves my lips endlessly as the night goes on our hands laced our cries filling the night's silence with bliss._

_

* * *

_

_I woke in the middle of the night, Adam's hand tightly holding mine. I carefully unclasped it, and I could hear him talk somewhat mumbling. "Tommy? ….Glitterbaby …Don't leave…" Adam's muttering was quiet; a slight shiver came from the loss of heat. I grabbed his Blackberry from his nightstand taking a photo of myself, I laughed sat the photo but at least he wouldn't forget me. A note on the side of the phone caught my attention, beside it was a letter addressed to me. I flipped it open the corner of my eye watching Adam's sleeping figure._

**_Tommy._**

**_I know there is so much you want to know but I want to thank you for all that you've given me. I think you have helped me become the person I am today. I love you so much, and I know it will be hard for both of us, the distance whether or not we ever see each other again. I just want you to remember me, I think it's going to be hard but just remember not matter where I am I love you. This letter is last thing I can possibly do, keep the necklace you own my heart anyway._**

**_Love Adam_**

**_Don't forget me. _**

_I stared at the letter, before pocketing it; I would find the necklace latter. I walked back over to the bed and gently and ever so carefully without waking Adam I kissed him on the forehead softly. "I'll miss you baby." I whispered in the dead quiet air. I turned away from my slumbering boyfriend, and began to put on my clothes, as I walked to the door leading outside I looked back once at Adam's sleeping body then walked out the door, my heart heavy._

_

* * *

_

_A week later_

_"Reports show the teen Adam Lambert has been missing for a week. His parents were found dead in his apartment, evidence shows that Adam was taken from the apartment by force. His blood is found on the floor…" I threw up into the nearest trash barrel at Chris's house._

_Allison rubbed small circles on my back trying to sooth me, I was shaking so much. "The CSI are doing everything they can to find the teen nothing has been found on the teen's whereabouts." I gagged again throwing up bile into the barrel. Chris handed me a napkin, I wiped my mouth flinching at the photo of Adam that appeared on the screen._

_"Turn it off" I whispered franticly not being able to take it without my heart breaking; I wanted to scream, cry just breakdown. My hands were shaking, bruises on my wrists visible; my body was battered and bruised from my mother's constant beatings now. The television was turned off and beside me Kris shifted glancing at my wrists and Chris looked concerned._

_"Tommy baby, what's wrong?" Alison asked me her voice worried._

_I felt water fall down my eyes as I blinked. I pulled her into a hug and buried my head in her shoulder sobbing against her. For a long time no one said anything to me after that, they didn't talk to me much anymore. Well Kris never lost contact with me; he knew everything I went though that year. Except the cutting, I blamed my mother for the cuts, he believed it and every time I ended outside his door he let me in. I never realized that over that year I was losing who I had been. The carefree Tommy was vanishing, I was becoming a different person, an emotionality unstable one and I couldn't stop myself._

_I didn't realize it until it was too late, and that was the night of my junior year when I nearly killed myself._

* * *

End Flashbacks

"Thomas?" Adam hissed at me. I blinked. I looked over at Adam and placed a finger to my lips staring at the teen I once knew- fuck even loved until he left and was supposedly still missing, not that they could track it anyway. I looked him in the eyes still feeling the leather material around my neck. I swallowed, I was pretty sure what we had done last night, it didn't matter much, and he had been my first those years ago.

"What?" I said my voice sounder harsher than I expected it to be.

Adam looked me right in the eyes. Then reached a pale hand to touch my bang in front of one of my eyes, he ran a hand though it carefully. He leaned into me his nose touching mine, my face felt hot. As his breath hit my lips, I felt a hot rush to my groin. "Adam please not now." I hissed at him.

His eyes widened, as he saw the blonde hair. "Shit." He cursed. "Tommy I"-

"I understand you did what you needed to survive." I responded. I didn't look at him, I got up grabbing my skinny jeans off the floor along with my boxers, and my band t-shirt. Adam's eyes had a pained looked on them as I began dressing myself, I went to reach for my jacket and cursed. There would be no way to hide the hickeys from my mother.

Adam held out his long gray jacket, I weighed my options lie to my mother and risk starving for another week or hold it off. I grabbed the jacket from his hands and handed him my striped hoodie with a muttered thanks. "Tommy can't I just explain to you what happened that week?" Adam's voice pierced though me hard.

I didn't want to know, I knew the truth would scare me. Adam hadn't moved the covers off his body; he seemed to be waiting till I left. His hand ran though his hair in a worried habit. "Frankly, I never want to know. Some things are better left unsaid in life." I retorted harshly at him.

Adam cringed at my tone looking away. "It wasn't my"-

"-Your fault **_bullshit_**. You don't know what it's like Adam to be alone not being able to trust anyone." I snarled at him storming back over to his figure and roughly pulling him up by his blonde hair. "You have no**_ idea_**!" I hissed at him my breath inches from his face, I roughly pushed him away from him, my scars visible on my wrists.

I wanted to beat the shit out of him, I refused to hurt him. I just couldn't do it. "Tommy I'm"-

"Just get the **_fuck _**away from me." I hissed it sounded like poison lacing my voice. I sat on the other side of the hotel bed, as I heard him shuffle for clothing and I could tell he was getting dressed, my hoodie thrown over his bed like appearance.

Adam didn't look at me as he spoke. "I still love you Tommy nothing is going to change that." Adam said as he grabbed the door knob.

Adam opened the door and slammed it as he left, I saw the vanishing of gray and white as I grabbed my Blackberry, and dialed the familiar digits. The phone ringed twice before someone answered, I ran my hand over the hickey my tone serious as I spoke. "Kris I've found Adam."

A second latter swearing was heard and then the line went dead.


	4. Part 4

Disclaimer- I don't own Adam Lambert or _Thomas Joe Ratliff or any other members of the band, or American Idol contestants from season eight. Yes, a lot of characters here. _

_AU- a lot, given this there is a change with their ages, the ages are as follows. If more characters are listed they will be added as the story progresses, given this is an au so things are a lot different Alliterate universe. _

_**Warnings**__- Slash in later chapters, slight abuse, drug use, violence, hinted rape in further chapters._

_Everybody's fool_

_

* * *

_

Part 4

I exhale, Tommy's scent lingering in the fabric- the smell of nicotine and an almost husky like smell lingers on the hoodie, more than likely I look horrible coming into me and Monte's apartment at this hour. I shut the door behind me not even thinking about the fact I just got laid, not to mention damaged my relationship with my boyfriend, well if I could call Tommy that anymore, from my understanding Tommy thought I was dead. "Dude you look like shit." Monte comments, did I mention my roommate was trying to get me a record deal to get me out of the hell that is modeling.

Not that I would mind, I mean hell its two days before Christmas, ignoring the fact I'm Jewish and don't celebrate their holidays, and I feel like total shit. "Thanks Monte." I reply dryly staring at the guitarist.

He grins up at me sniffing the air. "Adam you need to shower man." He says at me holding his nose, I glare at him but my eyes are already searching for the dye.

"Can you help with my hair?" I asked him finding the box of dye, Monte nods and heads into the small bathroom.

I strip off Tommy's hoodie, my upper frame wearing a tank top that is an off blue color. I go to sit on the counter, removing my shirt, my back facing the mirror. Monte begins the process of dying my hair again; he runs his gloved hands though it, frowning at the hickeys. "Emily is going to murder you for those marks."He says.

I reply serious. "I'm not going to the shoots; I'm taking your offer on my songs. You know I can sing." I say to him as the dye begins to set in.

Monte glances at my body littered with finger nail marks. "Who did this to you kiddo?" Monte looks at my damaged body.

I pull my phone from my pocket staring at the younger version of Tommy that hasn't changed in my background for years. The differences frighten me a lot. Monte breaks my thoughts. "Adam what is that photograph from?" He asks me suddenly.

I freeze running a hand across my wrist across the scars. "It was just something stupid, I never liked the teen." I lied to Monte; I didn't need to let anything slip Emily would flip.

"Monte is Adam with you?" It chilled me to the bone that voice, Emily.

I gave Monte a pleading look, he seemed to freeze. He walked out of the bathroom, disposing the gloves first. I hid in the bathroom closest their voices still loud enough to hear. "He isn't around. No word from him." Monte commented.

Emily let out a sigh. "My poor baby, did Sarah tell you she's giving her baby boy to me. He's such a little devil apparently; he tried to fight back tonight so Sarah wants me to teach him a lesson. Besides she said he has such a female figure."Emily said to Monte.

Monte swallowed. "Isn't this getting out of hand Emily, I mean after you kidnapped Adam and killed his parents now you're abusing another teen?" Monte voice sounded hard.

I shifted leaning against the bathroom closet door listening still. Emily faced Monte her brown hair framing her hazel eyes. "Monte, Adam is smart enough to know that the police won't believe it and the evidence for the murder is long gone. Besides Monte we could use another teen around here. It might be fun breaking him." Emily said a dark glint in her eyes.

"Who's the teen?"Monte asked swallowing hard.

Emily's eyes glinted, her hands passing him a photo from her pocket."Thomas Joe Ratliff." She said quietly just barely heard to my ears and I felt my body freeze. Monte stared at the recent photo and his lips quivered, it was the same boy that was on Adam's phone. Monte stared at the photo before looking back at Emily.

"When do you want me to get him?" There was a loud thump coming from the bathroom, I cursed. Emily gave Monte a glance, and walked into the bathroom, opening the closet door to reveal me, a very frightened me as I looked at her. Emily glared at me it was the love bits I had most likely, and smiled sweetly at Monte. She grabbed me roughly by my newly dyed hair hard pulling me out of the closet.

"I can deal with the brat here after we get him. Who gave you the marks?" I swallowed hard not letting myself answer her I wouldn't get him into more trouble. She slapped me once not hard. Emily knew she wasn't going to get an answer today. "Monte bring Adam with you to help. Sarah should handle the rest." Emily said staring at my eyes, I shivered. Please don't do this to me. I don't want to go with him. Monte grabbed Tommy's sweatshirt, passing it over to me as I slipped it on he grabbed my hand roughly faking emotions in front of Emily.

I swallowed hard as we began driving in the car.

Monte pulled to a stop in front of Tommy's house. He turned to face me. "What's the deal with him? You're shaking a lot Adam."

I couldn't find my voice, it was frozen in my throat. Monte snapped his fingers in front of me. "Adam? Are you alright?" I could feel my vision blurring, was that water I felt failing from my eyes? Monte's car window was slightly open and I could hear Sarah's screaming, I cringed, I could hear Tommy's curses a rough thump in the hallway as Sarah walked out her hands around Tommy's wrists, a zip tie around them as tight as possible. His eyes weren't afraid but fuming apparently Emily hadn't been lying about him fighting back. He glared at Sarah trying to bite her hand; he was still wearing my jacket. Sarah roughly pulled him by the wrists to the car door, shoving him into the car and into the middle seat while she sat by the window. I couldn't find my voice as she greeted me sweetly. "Adam, baby how are you?" Sarah's fake sweet voice made me gag, I looked at Monte.

Monte chuckled, and looked back towards Tommy who was fuming, and then at Sarah, he began driving again as he spoke. "He's been fine. Just a bit rebellious and Emily doesn't like it so much." I squirmed slightly in my seat; I knew Tommy was glaring at me.

"Thomas has been alright, he's recently gotten back from rehab after the whole incident that he did junior year." I frowned, incident, what incident? Tommy set his bound hands on the center counsel placing his head on his hands, his eyes looking at me. The car halted to a stop and he was dragged from the car, I managed to get out without Monte's help, and went through the front door and was met by Emily, Sarah followed behind me with Tommy.

Emily looked at the two of us as she spoke. "Go upstairs the two of you." She said sweetly to us, I almost gagged again going upstairs, Tommy following behind me. There was a door at the top of the stairs that lead to just my part of the larger apartment that was Emily's. It was basically a small home like apartment upstairs, a living room dining room, kitchen, and my bedroom that had a bathroom connected to it. I knew they were planning things for us and just wanted us to rest, I entered my code into the apartment door and it opened and I lead Tommy in shutting the door with a click behind him.

I went to find a pair of scissors, and cut off the zip tie around his wrist they were red from the lack of circulation. I settled on the couch beside him, and he frowned at me still pissed. "Why are we here?" Tommy's voice was quiet.

"Sarah wants you as her child. She wants a new abuse toy. She doesn't know that I knew you." I said softly to him.

"Adam when you left those three years ago, did you want to?" Tommy asked me.

"Emily had gassed me that day, I woke up handcuffed to a motel bed and my hair was dyed. She had made me at one point lose my memory, I re found my memories halfway though my third year of high school. I couldn't remember that it was you in that photograph you took on my phone but I never deleted it for some reason." I didn't speak loud.

"I found your dead parents Adam." Tommy's voice was grim.

I looked away from him. I knew Emily had killed them when she gassed me. Tommy gripped my hand- the one tattooed with the Egyptian eye on it in a sign of comfort. "I'm sorry." I whispered it hurt so much, how much I had lost how much damage I caused Tommy. His arms pulled me into a tight hug, I could feel him crying. Our eyes met in a silent agreement, as we got up our hands intertwined, I lead him into the bedroom.

* * *

I don't know how long we laid there on the bed, our hands intertwined, it seemed things wee finally starting to get better, but I knew we needed to get rid of Emily and Sarah. So we talked out how we would get my car and drive all the way to Chris Daughtry's house- I had found him during the time I was moving from place to place.

"So are we bringing Allison and Kris?" I asked Tommy while throwing my car keys I had into my pocket.

"No. The last thing we need is Emily going after them." Tommy answered. I grabbed my wallet, I had a lot of cash as it was that I could use.

I took a deep breath as I opened the door that connected us to the rest of the house, it was time.


	5. Part 5

Disclaimer- I don't own Adam Lambert or _Thomas Joe Ratliff or any other members of the band, or American Idol contestants from season eight. Yes, a lot of characters here. _

_AU- a lot, given this there is a change with their ages, the ages are as follows. If more characters are listed they will be added as the story progresses, given this is an au so things are a lot different Alliterate universe. _

_**Warnings**__- Slash in later chapters, slight abuse, drug use, violence, hinted rape in further chapters._

_Everybody's fool_

_

* * *

_

Part 5

I tried to breathe properly, my lungs felt heavy as if they were going to stop working. Adam set a hand on my shoulder. "We'll get out of this together." He promised me.

So far we had made it to the halfway point without being seen by anyone lethal, Monte we could trust. I could see our freedom the exit. My heart beat quickly, my hand laced with Adam's hand. _One, two, three!_ We broke into a run racing out the door; I could now hear Emily's swearing along with Sarah's as we raced out the door hand in hand Monte following, jumping into a Porsche. I jammed Adam's keys into the Mustang's door I threw the door open, Adam jumped into the seat and I grabbed the keys from the door jumping into the car. I slammed the door and hit the locks half sitting on Adam's lap when I threw the keys in the starter slamming my foot down on the gas pedal. You could hear the revel of the entire quickly a screech and then it got quiet, as the car hit seventy-five miles per hour as we hit the highway.

Adam leaned against me for a second, and I pulled over onto the breakdown lane so I could climb over to the passenger seat. I leaned against the leather seat panting; Adam took the wheel carefully getting back on the road again. I went through the glove box trying to find a Cd to throw into the stereo. I stumbled upon a blank one and I saw Adam's eyes look towards mine. I placed the Cd into the stereo, when the music began playing- it sounded like. My eyes widened at Adam. It was the song he had written before he left me before he vanished. I could still remember the night I had pulled out my guitar to play the chords for it while he sang it raw.

Adam sniffed beside as the lyrics- "_Yeah it's plain to see baby your beautiful and there's nothing wrong with you it's me- I'm a freak. But thanks for loving me cause your doing it perfectly."_ His voice was so raw with emotion in the recording a light guitar playing. I could see tears leaking from Adam's eyes but he stayed focused on the road. I held back my own cry, listening, I could hear the drip of his tears.

It remained quiet for awhile after the music stopped playing; neither of us knew what to say. I shifted in my seat taking off Adam's jacket, and draping it over my body and leaned back in the seat. I closed my eyes inhaling Adam's scent on the jacket my mind growing heavy, I was exhausted from earlier I barley heard Adam's hushed talking on his phone before I passed out his scent heavily intoxicating my mind.

* * *

I blinked, and tried to sit up. My head felt sluggish from the lack of eating, and then I noticed that I wasn't in the front passage seat but lying in the back, Adam was behind me his eyes closed breathing softly. His arm was around my waist, we must have stopped somewhere, and Adam must have been tried. The heat was comforting, the doors were locked the car keys dangling from Adam's pocket, the window open just little enough for air. I stared up at the car ceiling debating whether or not to get up, I mean I knew where Chris's house was but why would Adam stop, he looked like he had more sleep than I did. Unless, I tried to think, Adam had been talking on the phone…Kris. He had called Kris Allen and Alison. That explained it. A tap on the car window made me cringe and look up, I saw red hair. Allison. My stomach lurched, why was Adam insisting on bringing them?

She tapped on the window again, I had no idea where we were, but I unlocked the doors and her and Kris climbed in the front seats and shut and locked the doors behind them. Alison faced us her hand open for the keys, I careful grabbed them Adam's pocket and tossed them to her, Kris started the car and began to drive-they knew where we were going, Adam shifted behind me clinging onto me tighter.

Alison turned to face me and whispered so Adam wouldn't wake. "Thomas as much as you admit you don't need help in this you do. You plan on killing your mother don't you?" My stomach lurched again, anxiousness settling in it, and hunger pains.

"Alison," I said softly while Adam's head rested on my shoulder. "Is there any"- She handed me a McDonald bag. I muttered a thank you and in between eating fries I said. "What exactly did Adam tell you?" I inquired her seeing I was sleeping at the time.

Kris spoke for her. "He told most of it to me; he said Chris had friends you knew. Longineu and Monte, and Lisa, Adam said that Longineu would help you along with Chris and Lisa. They've known about it for awhile and wanted to do something about it. Chris mentioned he would murder and take the defense for you if you ever needed it. Monte broke off Adam's contract yesterday and wants him to get a record deal." Kris paused and swallowed. "Chris is considering how to murder Sarah, Emily can be easily found guilty of Adam's parent's killings." Kris said taking a turn onto an exit.

I swallowed hard. "Murder? Adam talked Chris into. No it isn't right. I shouldn't even be here. I shouldn't be near Adam, it's just endangering him. Kris they're after me."

Alison frowned. "You mean Emily wanted you instead of Adam?" I nodded at her question. "Kris, I think they want to kill them. Then post the bodies." Allison's voice was rough.

"Kill us but…They wanted me and Adam because he could sing and I could get to him. They wanted to use him this whole time for money. They've known about us since Chris left." I felt red hot anger forming my voice was slightly raised.

"Hush Thomas." Kris hissed. "We'll talk when we get there."

I didn't answer him after that but laid my head on Adam's chest draping his jacket over the two over us like a blanket.

* * *

When we were inside Chris's house- the twenty year old had greeted us. I had carried Adam out of his car, his head shifting now and then but he was far too dead to the world, his lack of sleep had caught up with him. Kris and Alison had gone upstairs with Chris to bed and talked beforehand. I sat downstairs on the couch Adam's sleeping body beside me.

One of my hands wove though his hair, feeling the silk like strands. I swallowed thinking back to Sarah's threats she had made to me. I just wanted to forget about everything, it hurt so much to think. Adam shifted, his eyes blinking, he yawned staring at me with liquid blue eyes. "Tommy, Did Kris and Alison drive us here?" His voice was quiet, half asleep.

I nodded combing my hand though his hair. Adam sat up staring me in the eyes. "Tommy did you honestly try to kill yourself?" One of Adam's hands was intertwined with mine.

I swallowed; it wasn't a subject no one honestly knew the truth on. Well everyone thought I had killed myself or attempted. I took a breath grabbing my phone and taking a picture of me and Adam before I began telling him what happened. What the doctors had discovered that night that had been their concern besides my bleeding wrists was a bullet inches up above my heart.

"Sarah had shot me that night when everyone thought I had gone suicidal she had played it out that way so she could get away with it. She-"I violently began coughing. It was a light headed feeling that came to my head that I knew something was wrong. Bile burned in my mouth, acid trying to force its way up my mouth.

Beside me Adam coughed up blood. It was gas; it was burning my lungs making it harder to breathe. I feel onto the floor panting heavily. I couldn't breathe my throat tightened painfully. My eyes were slipping shut, not before I saw the haunting brown eyes that invaded my nightmares.

* * *

"I've had it with your shit. You filthy bitch." A echoing slap made me awake with a start and a scream made my ears cringe. A louder scream was heard, a cross between a moan and a scream. I could hear shouting of stop it followed by whore and cunt.

Another slap to me made me focus. Sarah leaned over me, her eyes a haze of bloodlust, I shivered. When she tried to it me again, I acted on my own reflexes I knew what was going on in the other room. She let out a string of curses grabbing a knife and I stumbled to my feet running trying to find a weapon, anything to defend with. I could hear Adam's screams echoing, I found a gun lying across the floor, Monte's handwriting on a note- Save Adam. Protect yourselves.

I pulled the safety off the gun's trigger, raising it to meet Sarah's eyes. She froze at the gun; her body seemed to realize the danger. I ran towards the room Adam was in slamming my body hard against the door, it flew open and I swore. Adam was lying across the bed naked, a dark purple bruise stretching across his ribs, he was bleeding from the inside of his legs, and he coughed hacking up blood. The gun shot echoed across the room – hitting Emily in the leg. Her brown eyes widened in pain- she cursed her leg on fire, I dropped the gun- my body processing what I had down, I could see the blood dripping from her wound. My eyes fixed back on Adam's damaged body, he was slowly sitting up wincing and moaning from the pain.

His ribs were fractured- I could tell by the way he moved. "Glitterbaby," He whispered his voice pained, I rushed over to him hooking an arm around his waist, lifting his weight with mine off the bed, and I could hear Kris's voice along with Monte's voice. We stumbled out of the room; I could hear Sarah's cursing loud and clear. Then I heard a yell of pain followed by you son of a bitch.

Sarah came into view a handgun in her hands, my blood froze and I realized how much danger me and Adam where right now standing here. My body wouldn't move- it was frozen in an unknown fear; I could hear the dull click of her safety on the trigger- the trigger pulling back. Time seemed to slow; I didn't even know I was being pushed out of the house by Monte. The images were blurred in my mind, my hands stained crimson by blood that wasn't my own. I could feel my warm tears slip down my face; I didn't understand everything was in a haze. Adam sobbed against my shoulder; he clung onto me like a child. My own tears slipped past my eyes as I stared out the window of the car- perhaps my mind wanted me to forget. I could only hear Monte's hushed voice trying to sooth Adam's emotions.

I didn't understand, everything felt so blurry so unreal. "He's dead." Adam whispered his voice breaking into hysterics. "He's dead." He repeated warm tears slipping from his face onto my shoulder- my face. "It's my fault. I'm the reason he's dead." Adam whispered sobbing. I run my hand though Adam's hair trying to clarify what he was saying.

I heard vague bits of Monte's voice saying they had got them. That Sarah and Emily were never going to hurt them again. I wrapped my arms around Adam's waist. I didn't want to remember who was dead. I wanted to see it after Adam was calmed down. I needed to comfort Adam. Adam gripped me tighter crying into a sleep. I closed my eyes mentally exhausted. As my mind began to drift into the realm of dreams I just barley heard the faint whisper of "Kris Allen is dead."My resolve broke as I slipped into the realm of dreams haunted by the blood that was lingering on my dead soul.

My heart ached with an unknown pain of loss as I drifted.


	6. Part 6

Disclaimer- I don't own Adam Lambert or _Thomas Joe Ratliff or any other members of the band, or American Idol contestants from season eight. Yes, a lot of characters here. _

_AU- a lot, given this there is a change with their ages, the ages are as follows. If more characters are listed they will be added as the story progresses, given this is an au so things are a lot different Alliterate universe. _

_**Warnings**__- Slash in later chapters, slight abuse, drug use, violence, hinted rape in further chapters._

_Everybody's fool_

_

* * *

_

Part 6

I didn't know what to do or say the days seemed to go by slower. Adam was pulled into a depression like state hardly talking to anyone; he didn't have the will to. Allison had been crying for days on end, and Chris had a look in his eyes that made me want to cry. I was currently sitting on my bed/Adam's bed, Adam had his head laid on my lap, and his eyes closed in pain, one of his hands clasped with my hand.

Kris's death had affected us all, I still had the bloody image in my mind, his corpse- he had saved my life. I didn't understand it for what? After his funeral- I knew I would be taken by DSS. I knew it was going to happen; I pressed my lips to Adam's temple. I didn't want to lose him again. I had just barley turned seventeen in October, all the events that happened- I realized it was Christmas eve and we were in South Carolina getting ready for a funeral being held in less than a few hours. I didn't want to think about anything, even as I and Adam were boarding the plane back to La with Allison, our clothing completely black.

I felt like I was going to get sick when we got back to La, the weather warm. I tried not to think about it – Kris's death. I think I was the one that was trying to move on. Even those hours later when the priest was saying words to the dead corpse trying to give comfort to us, the colors of twilight littered the sky as me and Adam stood by the filled grave of Kris Allen.

Adam's lips moved in a silent whisper, the pain unbearable for him. My lips wanted to whisper comforting words but I knew it would be no use. I was grateful for being alive, that could have been me in that grave and Adam would have been dead by now. I gave his hand a squeeze for comfort; I could see his tears dripping down his face. I wanted to cry, but just couldn't my tears wouldn't leave my body. I knew I was going to end up hurting him again, I just knew I was. I still loved him, but I knew I was going to lose him.

"Kris, I'll miss you." Adam whispered his voice just barely audible. "Thank you Kris. Thank you so much for everything and I pray to god you made it up there."Adam whispered his warm tears dripping down his face as he turned to me.

"Adam I"-

"I love you. " Adam knew, with those words he created a bond. One that I treasured and I could be myself around him, our scars- our story. I felt water slip past my eyes as I began to cry, it wasn't the same numb feeling, but a feeling I knew. Hope. I would see Adam again in my life, but we both knew that we had to move on from our pasts before we could fully function as one.

"I don't want to lose you." I whispered. Adam placed his lips against my forehead.

"I know Tommy, but we will see each other again. We need to heal now. I know you love me. I want you to heal. I need to." Adam's voice was soft.

"Adam. I"- His lips softly pressed against mine in a light kiss, nothing like before the emotions raw like the night he left. I kissed back with equal fever, but knew this would be possibly the last kiss for a long time from him.

"Just promise me you won't forget about me." He whispered against my lips.

"Never. I'll always remember you." I whispered.

Adam managed to smile though tearful eyes, and we turned away from Kris's grave hand in hand, I barely caught the snapping of a camera on Adam's cell phone before our lives changed for the better.


	7. Epilogue

Disclaimer- I don't own Adam Lambert or _Thomas Joe Ratliff or any other members of the band, or American Idol contestants from season eight. Yes, a lot of characters here. _

_AU- a lot, given this there is a change with their ages, the ages are as follows. If more characters are listed they will be added as the story progresses, given this is an au so things are a lot different Alliterate universe. _

_**Warnings**__- Slash in later chapters, slight abuse, drug use, violence, hinted rape in further chapters._

_Everybody's fool_

_

* * *

_

_Epilogue_

_Eight Years later_

I brushed my blonde and black bangs back from one of my eyes. My scars on my wrists were faded hardly anything there but still a reminder of living. It felt weird seeing me now; I was twenty-five years old. I lived in Los Anglos still, but I had discovered my talents- I loved playing bass guitar and I had improved so much since high school. I stared at the mirror for another second before my ringtone of Scars by Papa Roach went off which told me Allison was calling. I picked up the phone and at once heard her excited yelling. "I'm signed. I won." She sounded like she was crying but overjoyed at the same time.

I smiled. "That's wonderful Allison." I said grabbing my bass case. "I have a bass audition in La today." I informed her of my plans.

"That's awesome dude, you'll have to call me to see how it goes. I need to go; I have to work on recording things." Allison said softly.

"Alright baby girl go ahead." I heard Alison laugh before she hung up. I slide my phone into my jeans- I had to get somewhere.

I knew I was a little worried about my audition; it wasn't like Alison's though with American Idol, I had been waiting outside the door and hugged her when she made it though. When I walked though my doors though and saw who was waiting for me and nearly fell over in surprise at first. Monte's eyes were amused as well as Lisa's as they both looked at me.

"Well. This is a surprise, Thomas Ratliff back so soon." Monte said with a grin leaning on the chair.

I glared at him and began the audition; it went smoother than expected, I heard a slide door open as I was putting my bass away, I didn't look at who entered, but I shifted my hair from my eye again. A pair of boots could be heard against the ground and I looked up to me Monte's eyes. "So you want to call me if I get"-

"You already are in." The voice sent shivers down my whole body, I knew that voice. My eyes glanced towards the source; Adam was standing smirking at me. His body wearing a simple large grey jacket over a lighter grey shirt and leather jeans, he grinned at me. His hair was still the black color, but I liked it. He pulled me into a hug, and I happily put my arms around his waist. "I got signed baby. I have started to record my Cd. Did Ally tell you?"

I nodded. "She said she has a record deal too. I missed you so much baby." I whispered to him.

"I know, I've too."He kissed my forehead. Monte grinned at Lisa who was smiling.

"I love you." I said to him. Adam smiled at me.

"We made it. Where're alive." Adam said to me.

I couldn't agree more, even when we broke twitter with the AMA's performance but then again who honestly cared, I was happy lying in Adam's arms and nothing was going to ever change that. I guess sometimes fate and destiny have their way with you for the better and worse, not that I complained. A light pressure was given to my lips- Adam held a mischievous smirk on his face, I grinned back at him.

A muttered I love you drifted from his lips as we left hand in hand- together at last.


End file.
